Soul

The Movie in the Park summer series film last night was Pixar’s Soul. What a treat.

First of all, there is nothing like sitting comfortably outside under the magnificent New Mexico sky at dusk, eating a picnic dinner, and sharing the experience with a hundred or so people, the trains rumbling by, and a few hungry bats.

But this is not a review of the experience or of the film. The message of the film is that it is not necessarily purpose that drives us, but spark. Many of us in the coaching and spiritual community go on about finding our purpose and/or creating purpose-driven businesses. This drive toward aligning with a purpose has always seemed a little bit egocentric to me.

I’m not against purpose as a motivator. It’s one of the sustainable fuel sources we can use to move us toward a goal. It’s just that the idea of anything being purpose-driven is a Success Operating System idea that might work against our fulfillment as spiritual beings having a human experience. Our spiritual selves are not purpose-driven. At the fulfillment level of consciousness, we are joy-driven and love-driven. In a word, spark-driven. We are here because it is absolutely beautiful to be here and we want to enjoy it.

This idea has been a stretch for me. A big stretch. Maybe like for many of my readers.

I was taught through mostly subconscious messages, that my value as a person lay in what I could produce or provide for others. And the story about life on Earth that I internalized was that I would need to fight my own nature and fight the world to achieve that value. Harder fights create greater value. (No pain, no gain anyone?)

These were the messages I was supposed to learn as a child. But they were in contrast to the deeper messages I received in some more mysterious experiences I had, which told me that life as a human is a result of intense focus on a desire to co-create with our Source at the atomic level in physical form.

As a good girl, I did my best to ignore and forget the mysterious messages and toe the line as a person striving to be good enough through my ability to produce and provide for others. When life felt like drudgery, it was helpful to connect with a sense of purpose to pull me through. Since I felt the limitation of that ideal, I have devoted my life to exploring the more mystical side of life.

In Soul, I heard a message that supports the idea that we are here to experience the uniquely Earthly energy of joy and love beyond measure. It is not our purpose that propels us into life, but our spark. Our enthusiasm and eagerness for the experience.

Sometimes it’s hard to feel enthusiastic about life, about the world, about being here. This was a stumbling block for me for decades. A Course in Miracles says, “[The world] welcomes you, rejoices that you came…” (Workbook, lesson 189). It never felt that way to me. This world? These people who seem so intent on violence and greediness? All of the pain people endure? This is how the world welcomes us?

Abraham Hicks says that we were eager to come here. For what? To watch people suffer or to suffer ourselves? To endure disasters? Why? So that we can maybe, finally, feel like we have overcome something, persevered, conquered our obstacles? So that we can learn lessons and ultimately connect with some sense of purpose that seems to give our lives meaning?

With all the apparent distress and disharmony of the world as we see it with our human senses and human brains, how are we supposed to find our enthusiasm for life? When purpose begins to feel like duty and obligation, how are we supposed to feel eager about our lives? How are we supposed to reclaim the spark that drove us here?

Some teachers tell us about being present in the moment, and mindful. The more I examine these ideas the more powerful they seem. Being present and mindful is a practice of bringing all my thoughts and awareness into this current moment, a moment that A Course in Miracles refers to as a “holy instant.” It is difficult to be distressed and judgmental when all my focus is on right now.  It is impossible to feel regretful or fearful when all my thoughts and awareness are centered in this very second.

Going even deeper with this idea, I find the spark, the enthusiasm that might have brought us all here. From this moment, I can co-create with Source energy and the energies of this planetary system. Create what? Anything I can dream up. Anything I choose to perceive is being created for me in this very instant. I am co-creating with Source at the atomic level in physical form. Mostly, I perceive the world through my history, habits, and conditioning. But I can—and you can too—learn to be more aware of these patterns and begin to shift them if I want to. To create different perceptions and patterns that, with enough focus, can become hard reality. This feels exciting to me. This is the spark that drew me into this life.

And thank you Pixar, for creating a film that reminded me of all this under fantastical clouds and in the soft breeze of a New Mexico evening.