Not Doing
We’re all super-busy, right? Time seems to be speeding up, and we have unprecedented access to information and content that splinters our attention. All that splintering—the too many plates to keep up and spinning at the same time—drains our life force. We feel this as stress, which catapults us into our lowest levels of consciousness and triggers our fight/flight/freeze reactions.
To some extent, everyone in the Western world has bought into the growth and advancement mindset that has been accelerating since the late 1800s or before. We measure value by growth. If something is not expanding, it’s not worth our attention. Many feel like they have escaped this matrix, but all too often, if they are not advancing toward some goal, they feel a little (or a lot of) shame.
It’s counterintuitive to imagine that we might have this all wrong. But our mad rush to whatever we are rushing toward is not making us happy. It may be achieving concrete goals, more acquisitions, or a dream we think will finally make us feel like we have “made it.” But in this mindset, there is always further to go. Satisfaction is fleeting; it melts into awareness of the next thing to rush toward.
We wonder why billionaires can’t spread their wealth around. Surely they can see that there are people who have so little, that their accumulated wealth could help so much. Instead, they seek tax breaks and investments to grow their wealth even more. They are not entirely to blame that they cannot break out of this habit of thought. We are all surrounded by it; it throbs through the airwaves and assaults our senses. Everybody wants to be rich.
Part of the problem is that we have distorted priorities. We don’t know what will make us happy. And, by and large, we don’t believe that we deserve happiness. If we have to choose, many of us would choose safety over happiness. And our frenzied activity makes us feel safe and valuable. It’s hard to relax if it feels like we’ll have to pay for it in the future. Or if it feels like we are not being a good person.
Aimee Bernstein, in her book, Stress Less, Achieve More, teaches us powerful coping strategies that help us make friends with the pressures we face and turn them into a positive force. This is a simple form of Not Doing. We stop engaging in the judgmental and goal-driven thought processes that have caused us to feel stressed out.
Might it be possible to go further? To step out of the frenzy altogether? Would we want to?
The growth and accomplishment mindset has led us down a dark path where we equate our value with what we can do. This leads us to accept working conditions and technology that we intuitively understand are not ideal. But, hey, they help us get the job done! The path tells us that money, status, career advancement, or acquisition are good enough goals in and of themselves, and they are the correct measure of our personal value. Our obsession with doing has led us away from our beingness.
Celeste Headlee takes the idea to another level by suggesting that we Do Nothing in her book of that name.
Do Nothing?!?
Outrageous!
Even if we try hard, most of us can only manage to do nothing for a very short amount of time. Our busy minds spur us into directed action. I have repeatedly suggested to clients and students that they practice playing by going outside and walking over to whatever draws their attention. Then staying there observing whatever is there and what is going on inside themselves, then moving on to the next space that draws their attention. Everyone smiles politely, but rarely does anyone try this.
Roberto Assagioli, in his book, The Act of Will, suggests something even more outrageous. He assigns his clients the homework of standing on a chair in the corner of a room for 10 minutes of doing nothing. Yikes.
But why? Why even try to slow the mental achievement machine?
A good enough reason is that when we slow down and notice more, we engage with life on a different level—a more fulfilling level. Time does not seem to spin by so rapidly. It begins to feel like we are driving our own lives instead of being driven by the world around us. We begin to value the being part of being human, rather than the over-achieving doing parts of us. We don’t need to snap 100 photos or collect souvenirs to help us remember the events of our lives. We live them instead.
When we slow down, we begin to re-balance our nervous system. We activate the parasympathetic part of our neurological system, the part that allows us to rest, digest, and connect. I know it doesn’t seem real, but we don’t actually connect satisfyingly with others unless we chill out. We don’t digest our food well. We don’t get quality rest.
Our bodies will thank us for getting off the merry-go-round. Tension is antithetical to healing. Most of us are dealing with at least one annoying or dangerous chronic symptom in our bodies. These amazing physical miracles (our bodies) are capable of self-healing and regeneration if we give them the chance.
Let’s dive even deeper.
Spiritual teachers like don Juan and Emma Curtis Hopkins, tell us that we should cultivate a practice of Not Doing. Why might this be of value?
If we are truly active in the creation of our own reality, our attitudes and beliefs are important aspects of how we influence the world around us. This seems like a far-out concept, maybe even a dangerous one. But in the concrete, we understand how this works. If we greet the world with a smile, we tend to influence the world around us to smile back.
It’s not that we’re out there using our fingers to push up the corners of everyone’s mouth. But smiles inspire smiles. Inner peace is attractive. Self-love generates subconscious respect, even admiration. Happiness is alluring.
We influence the world around us subtly, without force, whether we bring calm or upset, peace or resentment, health or sickness.
Unfortunately, our thought habits are sloppy and generally arranged around our growth and acquisition mindset. We are on the lookout for what’s in it for us. Scanning for our next advantage. Looking out for the next challenge.
To Not Do, in this case, means to stop thinking the thoughts associated with angst or with danger. To stop imagining the worst-case scenario. To bring our awareness into the present moment, to stop dragging the past into this precious moment, and to stop bringing worry about the future into the now.
Not only does our inner environment influence the world around us, our bodies also follow the unconscious directions we give them. What directions are we giving moment-by-moment? Are our minds full of sickness and danger? How many drug ads have you seen today that tell stories of horrible conditions and diseases? What do you think about or believe about your bones, your gut, your brain? If you’re like most people alive today, the ratio of fear thoughts to joy thoughts is like 99 to one. Can you imagine giving up—Not Doing—even one of these thoughts?
We aren’t taught that this world, this universe, is kind. No one tells us that if we relax, that kindness is given the opportunity to flow through our thoughts, our cells, and our energy fields.
Not Doing is not the same as shrugging and giving up. It is active. It involves pinpointing the dysfunctional actions, thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes, and consciously Not Doing them. Not giving them any rent-free time between our ears. It helps to imagine something else, perhaps a best-case scenario. It helps to find friends who support this effort. It helps to rewrite our conception of reality by reading great teachers and inspirational words. It helps to collect evidence that your relaxed Not Doing is having an effect on your level of happiness, your feeling of holding the reins of your life, or your physical health and wellbeing.
What’s the best thing that might happen for you today? Take a few minutes to imagine it. Have fun with the idea. Don’t crash into your ordinary mindset too quickly. Let me know how it goes.
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