Mirror, Mirror
Are we really seeing ourselves in everything? If so, what are we choosing to see?
One of the first discussions my cohort in our doctoral program had was about whether there is an objective reality or not. This may seem like a silly question. Of course, there is an objective reality, a world out there that we interact with. The chair I’m sitting on keeps existing even when I take a break and go out for a walk. My friend still exists even when she moves thousands of miles away.
Though the answer seems obvious at first, as we look more closely, it gets a little murkier.
We may be more involved in creating the world we perceive millisecond by millisecond than we think. The world that we see as so solid and fixed may be more of an illusion than we imagine.
Physicists tell us that the matter we perceive with our five senses is made up of more space than anything else. I recently heard that the physical matter in the average human body would fit into a teaspoon. I don’t know if this is accurate, but there is certainly more space between the electrons and the nuclei of the atoms that make up our physical form, than there is solid matter. So, what we think we see is not the whole story.
Physicists also suggest that the tiniest particles of matter behave differently when they are being observed. This suggests the presence of consciousness even in electrons and photons. And, through the process of entanglement, electrons seem to be able to communicate without physical proximity. They also suggest that electrons and photons may be flashing in and out of physical existence rather than being solid, continuous bits of matter that stay in a constant form.1
In seeming agreement with these scientific findings, indigenous cultures have long believed that all matter is conscious and that we are interconnected, not only with other people, but with the matter of the Earth itself.
Neurologists tell us that in our brains, we have what they call mirror neurons. These are cells in our brains that fire when we see someone else take an action. They fire as if we, ourselves, are performing the action. Some researchers think that the mirror neurons are the seat of empathy.2
Biologists tell us that we are more than simple expressions of genes. In fact, it has been found that the genetic material in our cells is influenced by the energetic or attitudinal environment around it. In other words, our state of mind influences the expression of our genes, stimulating some expressions and muting others.3 4
Psychologists tell us that what we see in other people is more a factor of our own history, beliefs, attitudes, and unprocessed emotional energy, than it is objectively real for the other person. In a process psychologists call projection, we project material from our subconscious minds onto others. Usually this is material that we would rather not claim as our own. Like if we would rather not see ourselves as greedy or stubborn, or generous or powerful, we imagine that we see these qualities in those around us. When we make assumptions about what another is feeling or thinking, we are probably—at least partially—front-loading our own hidden fears, power, or attitudes onto them.
Though many people are unaware of projecting, most of us realize that our attitudes make a difference in the world we experience. Go out in the morning crabby, and you will usually see crabbiness around you. Greet the day with a smile, and you will likely see hope, friendliness, and generosity all day long.
Ron and Mary Hulnick tell us that when we are upset with the world, it is ourselves—our thinking and our stored hurts that are the actual source of that upset.5 And Byron Katie demonstrates that if we can change our thinking, we can change the way the world appears to us.6 If we try to create happiness for ourselves by trying to change factors in the world around us, including the other people in our lives, and neglect to shift our own thinking and inner environment, it is as futile as walking up to a mirror with a frowny face and insisting that the image in the mirror smile back at us.
These theories combined suggest that there is more going on inside and between us than we currently understand. Are we creating the world we perceive in tiny microsecond flashes by the attitudes and beliefs we hold? Are we creating the perceived world through the lens of our unexamined beliefs, fears, and judgments? Are we affecting the vitality of our bodies through clinging to old wounds and stories that influence the expression of our genetic destiny?
When I was in high school, I recall sitting in a parking lot in the driver’s seat of my mom’s car. I had some decisions facing me. College. Career. Relationships. Family. I was looking down different possible roads into my future. Some roads looked brighter and cheerier than others. Some seemed full of oppressive expectations and duties.
I realized that I felt better when I imagined that there was some overarching intelligence that was guiding the world in general, and my world in particular. Even then, I didn’t like to call this intelligence God. God was a capricious and vindictive presence I tried to hide from. But the idea of a conscious force or field of intelligence made me feel better.
I decided to believe in that. I realized that I could choose either way. And that either choice might be correct or devastatingly wrong. I decided that in order to move forward at all, I needed to believe that there was some sense in the Universe, that good would guide me and could see me triumph over desolation.
In the years since then, the idea of that intelligent, creative force has distilled itself down to the idea of Infinite, Omnipresent, Lovingkindness. Love. Love that guides the evolution of humankind. Love that offers each individual choices. Love that balances out the stress of modern life. If we are flickering in and out of physical form millisecond by millisecond, it is love that is directing the process.
I like to think that the copious space between the electrons and the nuclei of the atoms of my body is made up of Infinite, Omnipresent, Love. My body is literally made of Love. As is yours. And the table I’m sitting at. And the rug under my feet. And the car I’ll drive to the supermarket later. When we make the choice to observe love, we give it more substance. We create entanglements of lovingkindness that stretch around the world.
Love surrounds each cell in my body, activating my most vigorous and healthy genes. Love guides the spaces between the words I write and those I say to my neighbors. Love fills up the space between the neurons of my brain, exerting gentle pressure to think loving thoughts, to remember my past and imagine my future through the lens of lovingkindness. Love glows in the space between me and you, between those of us living, and those who have passed on. Love bathes my memories and my ambitions. My mirror neurons see the love in you, which activates the love within me, which activates the love in you in a lovely upward spiral that feels good to both of us.
I get it if this seems like nonsense to you. But I suggest that you try to see love wherever you look. Feel love in your cells. Claim the most loving thoughts as yours. The worst that could happen is that I’m wrong. That love is not Omnipresent. Then we will have conjured for ourselves a few happy moments. And where’s the harm in that?
1 Levy, Paul, The Quantum Revelation: A Radical Synthesis of Science and Spirituality, 2018, Selectbooks, NY https://bookshop.org/a/89539/9781644119013
2 https://www.simplypsychology.org/mirror-neurons-function.html
3 Lipton PhD, Bruce, Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, and Miracles, 2016, Hay House https://bookshop.org/a/89539/9781401952471
4 Braden Gregg, The Spontaneous Healing of Belief: Shattering the Paradigm of False Limits, 2009, Hay House https://bookshop.org/a/89539/9781401916909
5 Hulnick PhD, Ronald H, and Hulnick PhD, Mary R, Loyalty to Your Soul: the Heart of Spiritual Psychology, 2010, Hay House https://bookshop.org/a/89539/9781401927288
6 Katie, Byron, Loving What Is: Four Questions that Can Change Your Life; the Revolutionary Process Called, “The Work”, 2021, Harmony https://bookshop.org/a/89539/9780593234518
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