Do We Actually Create Our Own Reality?

As we glide to the end of the calendar year, as we move into the darkest time of the year, it is time to pull inward, to embody all that has happened. And as we stand on the brink of infinity, it is ever more important to be intentional about what we create.

It is a standard, new-age proposition that we create our own reality. This may be true; I believe it is. But if it is—if we are to consider how and why we do this—it is important to embrace the idea in the context of our Inner Operating Systems.

From the Survival Operating System, the drivers that create are mostly reactive. In the best case, our impulses and intuitions will be in harmony with nature which is the native home of the most basic, mammalian aspects of humanity.

But for most of us, our connection with Nature is clouded by debris we carry in our subconscious minds and in our energy bodies.

The subconscious mind does not have ready access to reason. It gathers data from experience and crystalizes that data into beliefs and thought patterns that broadly categorize aspects of the world it perceives as “Good” or “Bad.”

When we perceive something, a person, a place, an idea, the subconscious mind makes a determination. If the stimulus is considered “good,” which mostly means “familiar” we feel safe and we can respond to it. If the stimulus is considered “bad,” which mostly means “unfamiliar,” the subconscious mind triggers an alarm reaction, a sympathetic nervous system reaction. We get ready to fight, to flee, to freeze, or to try to manipulate the circumstances in our favor.

The subconscious mind is full of unconsidered sets of beliefs that we picked up from our families, our culture, and maybe from what some refer to as past lives or alien influences. Most of the thought patterns of the subconscious mind hold a negative bias; we assume the worst.

If we create our own reality from this state of consciousness, we will create a frightening world full of suspicion, conflict, and misunderstandings. We will find ourselves in a constant state of alarm or frustration.

Our Success Operating System has a different set of values and interests than our Survival OS. It cares about success and it feels best when it is overcoming obstacles and solving problems. The reality our Success OS would create would be hierarchical and competitive. It would tend to mistake bullying and accumulation of resources for true power. It would rely on intellectual analysis and hard data rather than intuition or “soft” sciences like philosophy or psychology.

The saddest kind of reality we might create from these Operating Systems would be one in which people would feel free to simply lie about anything in order to try to force or charm others into the “reality” they prefer. In this “reality,” we would see individuals striving to accumulate a sense of social power or amassing resources for themselves. We would see people trying to disguise self-interest as a safe harbor for others.

Hmmm.

Humans, obviously, have some capacity to create reality from these Operating Systems. But that capacity is limited because it is not aligned with the whole Self, including those aspects of each of us that are liminal, eternal, or even divine.

When we find the eternal within ourselves we get a taste of our actual potential to create our own realities. At this level of consciousness--the Fulfillment Operating System--humans would not be busy creating 8 billion realities bumbling around and crashing into each other. Instead, we would each find ourselves adding our uniqueness to a collaborative symphony that supports life. That circulates and always finds its way back to harmony. That is guided by love and not fear. That is cooperative rather than competitive. That is generous rather than suspicious.

I know a lot of my readers are thinking something like, “Yeah. Let’s create that. If only those other people over there would get on board, we would be able to have peace and prosperity for all!”

I’ll try to land this blow gently.

The reality you are creating is the reality you see. Your perception is what crystalizes reality into being. If you think you see people who are not on board with your vision, you are creating people who are not on board with your vision. Right there, in your own mind/consciousness, you are squashing them into a limited version of themselves. You are only seeing a part of them, a part that serves your (limited and likely dysfunctional) story of what the world is and how it works.

The ”realities” we can create from our Survival and Success Operating Systems are temporary and oppositional. They abide by commonly accepted “rules,” like “no pain, no gain,” “what goes up must come down,” “gotta look out for number one,” or “the other shoe will always drop.” These “rules” set up the game. The Survival OS can go on being victimized or punching back at such a world. The Success OS can go on identifying problems, finding solutions, and feeling a sense of accomplishment and worthiness in those efforts.

If we want to create something different, we have to do something different. We can get to know the mindset and perspective of our Fulfillment Operating System. We can challenge ourselves when we feel the familiar judgments running through our heads. We can strive to love ourselves more fully so that our Survival and Success Operating Systems are not automatically triggered into action.

A couple of practices that have helped me are:

1. When I see someone acting in a way that I judge as bad or wrong, I try to imagine a set of circumstances in which I might also act that way. For example, if another driver does something surprising, I can imagine that I would do that same thing if I were rushing my child to the hospital. This practice allows me to access Fulfillment OS attitudes of acceptance and forgiveness.

2. When I’m out in public with other people, I strive to see the love in all those people I don’t know. It’s easier to see the love in people with whom I have no history. HINT: You don’t “see” love with your eyes. This allows me to access the Fulfillment OS tendency to look beyond the current circumstances.

These practices stimulate the Fulfillment Operating System because they are aligned with its mindset. They can become habits of your own mind. The world will seem like a much nicer place once they do.